Dazed In The Life

Snow outside my house in Milltown.

I’ll be finishing college very shortly – this June, to be exact. I will have turned 24 by then too. Some people say “God, how great to be young and entering the “real” adult world beyond college”. And I say “Hmm, not so much great as a little bit frightening and sobering”. There is that balance between the freedom to do anything you want and the rudderless sense of drifting without a focus. Sometimes you feel life could do with less structure, and then you find yourself totally responsible. You think you’ll always be in college and suddenly you’re finished, your friends have moved away or are working and you can’t see them everyday. The things you took for granted are no longer a given. The ingrained sense of regularity is replaced by an overpowering realisation that you need to start leading your life, not following it.
Furthermore, as the end of college looms, you find yourself reminiscing and resolving: Reminiscing about times you had almost forgotten, resolving to make a bigger effort to see friends and family or to do something new and exciting. Memories are keepsakes to be stored away for this sort of moment in your life, when they are needed to remind you of where you came from and what may lie ahead.
As you accumulate more and more memories, you also realise that perhaps you should treasure those you are creating right now. Last night I got a text from my mum saying she was in my house dropping some furniture up. I called her asking her to stay, telling her I’d be home in thirty minutes. We spent an hour, walking about the house as she outlined the plans she had for it – as I noticed she had made my bed and washed the dishcloths. We sat by the fire, cups of tea in hand, and I felt very happy to be spending this thin slice of my life with my mum, who did much of the talking, filling me in on the last few weeks in her world, leaving me to wonder at the power of family.
If you think I’m being soppy, well, who cares? We all get old. We all die. Sometimes it is important to be reminded of that – not to make us worry about the future, but to make sure we drink plentifully from the overflowing cup of the present, not to make us cry, but to make sure that we smile.
What I’ve just said in the last four paragraphs, allow me to sum up in a five line poem. Have a happy life, wherever you are.

Mortal

Simple ice-cream cone
Warm dappled breezes
Sunlight milked from heaven
I am reminded that I am dying
But so pleasantly

Sunrise, Surfers Paradise, New South Wales, Australia. One of the perfect moments in my life.